HaShem hides Himself in the beauty of Concealment.
His Wisdom is hidden from all human analysis.
Avraham Maimin (1522-1570)
The festival of Purim
is a celebration of the hidden action of G-d in our lives. It is often pointed out that His Name is never
mentioned in Megillas Ester, and yet the entire tale is a demonstration
of the power of Hashgochoh Pratis (Divine Providence) in the lives of those who trust Him yet do their
part with gratitude—and even bravery.
The name of the principal protagonist “Ester”
is itself related to the hebrew “hester” (hiddenness). Goodness hides in the
midst of evil and what seems like “A” turns
out to be “B”. Expectations are turned “v’ na hafoch Hu” (upside down)
and outcomes are seen to be part of a Divine Plan—but in retrospect.
The life of a Jewish Contemplative is also a
celebration of the concealment of the
Hidden One.
Contemplatives are
seekers who are engaged in a continuous process of discovery and not an elite
who have somehow "arrived". A Jewish
contemplative is ever engaged on a journey towards G-d and yet, as a Jew, he or
she realises that the journey can never end. How could it when it leads
to the One who is eternally ever-present? Such infinity is not something we
can ever grasp or possess.
The Jewish Contemplative
hopes to be granted an experience of the Eternal One but accepts that this
experience can only ever be partially understood. It is an encounter
with a deeply veiled awareness of a Presence whose actual Being is beyond our
comprehension. Most Jewish mystics experience only the very merest hint of this
veiled Presence, and yet the memory of that fleeting moment is often sufficient
to inspire a whole lifetime of contemplative yearning for further contact.
Such a motivating experience is an experience of deveykus (cleaving
and attachment to G-d). It is not a superior state of human perception and
understanding achieved by any practice or method of our own devising and it
cannot be taught. It is a form of moral and spiritual contemplative bonding
which simply makes us useful to the Creator. Its purpose is to show us that we
are in a relationship with One who requires our effort, our loving
compliance, and our determination to be made more “in His image” as each day
passes.
In a nutshell, when we cease to see ourselves or focus on our own
needs, but look in G-d’s direction and hope to meet Him in some way, we
will find ourselves looking back through His eyes. This is perhaps the
closest we can come to “enlightenment” and experiencing it is a process which
never ends.
If there is to be any enlightenment on a Jewish mystical
path, it does not consist in arriving at an all-encompassing grasp of the
Divine master-plan- rather it is something which is most usually encountered in
moments of semi-prophetic or inspirational intuition which can then nourish our
otherwise transient and changeable experience. As Jewish contemplatives, we are
expected to draw nourishment from the deeply buried memory, the muffled echo,
and the glimmering after-glow of Sinai as it presents itself to us in the
ordinary but often synchronous events of each and every day. To see and hear
the unbearable thunder of the Voice of Sinai in every moment was beyond us then
and it is beyond us now. Our blessing is to be spoon fed digestible measures of
spiritual manna and to hear the message of that Voice as a still small whisper,
a barely distinguished hint, a kol d’mama dakah.
When we daven or meditate, when we spend time with our G-d in
discursive hisbodedus or reflective hisbonenus, we do not do so
because we want to achieve something for ourselves-we pray because we are
commanded to and because we wish to take our observance of the commandments to “cleave to G-d” and to “love Him with all our heart, soul, and strength” to
their fullest and most authentically Jewish levels. Not as an act of
philosophy, spirituality, or mysticism per se, but as an act of
religious service.
The effectiveness of this realistic and humble approach to the
spiritual and mystical journey has its root in the process known as bittul
haYesh: There is no point in demanding that our thirst for total control
over the wildness of existence be quenched at all costs. Our desire for certitudes and a clear vision
of a spiritual 'G-d-particle' is certain to miss the target as The Target is
simply beyond our reach and skill. It is an approach which reminds Jews of their
own place as the devoted servants of a commanding and loving G-d. The concealment of G-d is not a barrier to be
breached, nor is it a negative situation which we ought to try to “remedy”. It is the Kevod of HaShem made
partially accessible. It is a gift to be
treasured.
In Tehillim we read:
“Wonderfully concealed are your testimonies,
Therefore my soul has treasured them.”
Psalm 119: 129
The words of the Living G-d are pathways to walk on, shining lights
to inspire us or guide our choices; flowing rivers to nourish our seminal hopes
and growing thoughts; and they are a Tree of Life which is planted in heaven
yet intended to bear fruit on this earth. In other words, they are a process
not contained by tangible items or mental conceptualisation and the One who
makes them has made them as ultimately beyond our full comprehension as His own
Being is and always will be.
This in itself is a treasure, and being aware of it enables us to
be both the beneficiaries and the transmitters of the Hidden Light we are then freed to hold in our embrace despite never being able to
grasp it as a hoarded possession.
One who treasures the concealed word of HaShem in the Torah
haNistar in their prayer and meditation and who seeks to live the Torah
haNigleh in their daily study and work knows that this Torah cannot ever be
used as a spade to dig with, nor as a crown to be hoarded away for personal
pleasure.
All of a Jew’s relationship
with HaShem is for the sake of the outflowing of the Divine into our world. The
reward of a mitzvah is another mitzvah, and even the blessings which are
granted specifically to Israel are ultimately for the sake of all nations and
for the sake of all creation. As the Berditchever Rebbe reminds us:
“When one
nullifies oneself completely and attaches one’s thoughts to Nothingness, a new
sustenance flows to all universes. This sustenance did not exist previously.”
Quoted in Aryeh Kaplan’s “Meditation and
Kabbalah p.305
These words are most encouraging for those of us who make their
prayers their main contribution to the tikkun (healing) of the world’s
woes yet often wonder if their endeavours are of any use. Jewish
Contemplatives then, are both the beneficiaries and the transmitters of the
Hidden Light. The transmission is most effectively brought about when we are as
observant and as whole-hearted in yiddishkeit as we possibly can be.
That Psalm 119 verse I quoted (Wonderfully
concealed are your testimonies, therefore my soul has treasured them) -
tells us that G-d’s “decrees” for our life-history are not known to us, yet we
ought to rejoice that our “fate” is in such good care. We make our own choices
and face our trials, that is true, but He is our watchful and guiding shepherd
at every moment.
The messages hidden in the “testimonies” of G-d are often very well
hidden indeed. They are beneath the surface of the ordinary events in our
lives. They are in the familiar texts of our prayer-books and bibles. They are
in the often bewildering insights and intuitions which we receive in
contemplative prayer. They are also in the insights of our prayerful study of
Torah in meditation: Often, such insights are at first dimly perceived, but
they can dazzle us when we suddenly “see” what we are being told/shown, each of
us individually seeing something personally spoken to us in intimacy.
Our father Isaac goes out at dusk to meditate in the field.
At dusk, ordinary things are often bathed in a soft focus
And we can see their inner light more accurately.
At dusk ordinary things can sometimes fade into the half-gloom
And we turn inward to see our inner light in a more
heightened way.
The growing darkness is sometimes our best friend and not an
annoyance or an enemy.
It often leads to the place where we can see that our clouded
perception of G-d is not just the adoption of a realistic approach-
The cloud of darkness prevents us making G-d in our own
image.
It is actually closer to the Truth of G-d’s nature than any
detailed theology ever could be.
The Divine which is concealed will always elude our attempt to
grasp it.
But we can let G-d, the Hidden, grasp us
Through our loyalty as servants
And hold our hands as friends,
Thus, we can be held by the Hidden and know some of the power and
beauty of our G-d.
When we experience an ecstatic sexual or sensual feeling
We reflexively close our eyes to improve our mind’s savouring of
the physical event.
In contemplative prayer our eyes are metaphorically shut,
But we may discover that we actually “see” better in the dark.
We may not be able to see G-d’s plans for us
But being “kept in the dark” is not always a negative thing.
A contemplative is happy to know that the answer is not
(necessarily) “42”.
A contemplative is not looking for answers but is allowing G-d to
lead—to wherever.
Being in a Divine/human relationship in which we are informed on a
“strictly need to know” basis does not indicate that we are being kept in a subservient
state of ignorance. As contemplatives, we are enlightened by a form of loving
revelation whose brilliance we could never bear without the embrace of the
Cloud of Unknowing.
This is the treasure of the Hidden One.
Our task is to make sure we don’t hoard it for ourselves,
But allow G-d to make us into transparent conductors of its Light.
Nachman Davies
Ta'anit Ester 5777
March 9 2017
